What Does a Collaborative Case Cost?

A question that everyone asks, or wants to ask, when considering Collaborative Law is "what does it cost?".  That's a natural and legitimate question.

The simple, but not-too-useful answer is:  somewhere between cheap and the cost of protracted litigation.  On top of that, cheap is not defined (it's relative, after all) and the sky (or maybe the extent of one's bank accounts or credit cards) is the limit  for protracted litigation cost.

Unfortunately, the answer is that we don't know in advance what a divorce case will cost.  Attorneys and other professionals normally charge by the hour and we can't tell in the future how many hours will be required.

Why can't we be more specific?  Because each case is different.   Some issues are usually harder to deal with than others.

Your case may involve one or more of the following issues and we rarely spend equal time on every issue.
      Post-divorce support
      Career training or retraining
      Health limitations
      Allocating investments between the parties
      Retirement planning
      Child care
      Ownership and management of a small business
      College expenses
      Unique visitation circumstances 
      Tax planning
      One parent moving away
      Mental health issues
      Keeping both parents involved with very active children
      A professional practice of one or both spouses
      Dealing with teenagers
      Dividing, sharing or allocating a family business

There are varying degrees of difficulty between issues and between cases.  We can't predict ahead of time how much time we will need to devote to each issue.  What will be clear is that your team of professionals will allocate their efforts in gathering information, identifying issues and creating solutions in the most efficient manner to deal with what's most important to you. 

You can get some specific information on what to expect in a Collaborative case by talking with a Collaborative attorney.  Be sure to explain what's important to you and what outcomes you would like to see.  That could give you useful information to help decide how to handle your case.

Is Collaborative Law Safe?

Yes.  Divorce is usually a difficult and stressful process.  There is a competition for scarce resources, i.e. money and assets.  The parents no longer have unlimited access to their own children.  It is often a very emotional experience which is sometimes heightened by one or both of the attorneys.  Domestic violence is something that all Collaborative attorneys are concerned about and watch for.  Given that the parties meet and work out agreements face-to-face, some people may wonder if Collaborative Practice is safe. 

While each case must be evaluated on its own merits and facts, here are some reasons why Collaborative Law is usually a very safe way to work out a divorce or other family law issue.

1.  Experience has shown that working with a therapist helps defuse tension.  In Tarrant County Collaborative cases, we normally bring in a therapist at the very beginning.  The neutral therapists we work with have been very effective helping to referee conflicts, teach better communication skills and be observant for possible problems.  If and when a problem arises, the therapist stops us and helps resolve the issue before it gets out of hand.

2.  The financial professionals we use are neutral and objective.  They do not take sides and they are viewed by the parties as working for both parties, not trying to gain an advantage for one spouse or the other.  That reduces tension.

3.  The professionals, including attorneys, are trained to be less abrasive, better communicators.  That's a major contrast to how some attorneys act in litigated cases.  Sometimes attorneys get to be a big part of the problem by being very obnoxious to the other party.  In Collaborative cases, all the professionals are very aware of how they are coming across to the other side and they do their best to help the process, not stir up anger.

4.  Collaborative Law allows the parties to avoid escalating tensions that arise from sending demanding letters and making threats back and forth.  Legally, there's no need for such behavior.  Discussions can proceed in a civilized manner, and progress can still be made.  In terms of outcome, keeping tensions as low as possible will make it easier to come to an agreement.

5.  In Collaborative cases, the parties don't go to court or testify until the divorce is "proved-up" at court at the end.  That means that there will be less stress, less conflict and less compulsion to be oppositional.  Instead of trying to "win" issues in a competition, the parties work together to come up with solutions for the needs of both parties.

6.  The parties aren't left to try to negotiate on their own.  In fact, that is discouraged strongly.  Experience has shown that the parties behave better when other people are around.  When there are meetings to discuss the facts, to analyze the records or to work on coming up with acceptable solutions, there will always be two or three or (sometimes) four professionals to help manage and direct the discussions.  That prevents the parties from falling back into their old patterns of arguing.

7.  The Collaborative professionals help the parties not waste time and money on unhelpful work.  In Collaborative cases, the parties can focus in on what they need to know to work out a settlement.  They don't go back and try to prove fault or assign blame.  They really move forward and focus on the future.  The gathering of information by itself is incredibly better focused than the way it is done in litigation.  Collaborative Practice is a much more efficient process for everyone.


 

Facing a Divorce Later in Life?

What happens when long-term marriages head to the divorce court?  It's not pretty for either party.

It has become noticeable that Baby Boomers and even older people are starting to experience a significant number of divorces.  Couples married for 20 to 40 years are getting divorced.  A long-term marriage does not automatically guarantee that it won't end in divorce.  Part of the cause may be a greater life span for people.  Maybe it used to be that divorce didn't come up for older couples because one or both partners died before they got too old.

Now, "gray divorce" is an event that more older people experience, even though most never thought it would come to that.  Consequently, they are unprepared for what is happening.  If you find yourself in that situation, consider the following actions to help you begin to think about how to respond.

1.  The first thing you need to do is hire an attorney.  After a long marriage, and given the health and other issues that can arise at an older age, you have a lot at stake.  You should not, even if you are a lawyer, try to represent yourself.  Even if you don't want the divorce, you need to be protected and assisted.  Don't try to do it on your own.  There are many complicated issues you will face and they will determine much of your future.  Hire an experienced attorney, one you are comfortable with and one who is a good listener.

2.  Consider using Collaborative Law.  After a long marriage, there can be a myriad of issues to resolve, from dealing with teen-age or adult children, starting over with a career, health insurance, retirement assets, what to do with the house, how to provide support to get a spouse on her or his feet, health issues and many other concerns.  Collaborative Law has the potential to allow the parties to come up with creative, unique settlement ideas that directly address their concerns.  Here in Tarrant County, we use a neutral financial professional to help with financial planning, budgeting and other issues, and we use a neutral therapist to help the parties figure out the best ways to resolve children- and family-issues.  You really don't need a cookie-cutter approach on the terms of divorce.  You need something to respond to your specific needs.  You should talk to a trained Collaborative attorney to see if  Collaborative  would benefit you.

3.  You need to financially plan for at least two stages:  interim and retirement.  Depending on your ages, you and your spouse may have anywhere from a few to many years before retirement.  Either way, you will need to consider how both parties will get by financially on an immediate basis and then to retirement.  It is very common for one party to have been a stay-at-home parent who remained out of the workforce for years.  That spouse will need help figuring out a career and getting started.  Afterwards, the retirement assets will need to be divided between the parties.  There's obviously a lot of financial planning to be done and Collaborative Law offers the best set-up to meet that need. 

4.  You should consider the effects of the divorce on all the family members.  After a long-term marriage, it will be hard on everyone, but especially the children.  Using the neutral therapist in a Collaborative context allows you expert help with the family issues.  Children can really be hurt by divorce, even if they are adults.  You should carefully plan out how to address the divorce before you start telling your children and other people.

5.  Each party should work with a counselor or life coach.  Any divorce can be difficult, but one after a long-term marriage can lead to a much more difficult transition.  Professional help is really warranted.  Don't try to do it on your own.

Hopefully, these points will give you some ideas on what to expect and some things you can do if you find yourself facing divorce after a long-term marriage. This post is mainly to identify some issues and to get your started. Be sure to get good professional help.  Good luck!

How to Pick a Collaborative Attorney

If you have decided that you want to use Collaborative Law for your divorce, you will need to hire a Collaborative attorney. That's not necessarily an easy step because not all attorneys are trained in Collaborative Law.  You want to make sure you start off with a trained, experienced Collaborative lawyer.

Here are some quick keys for how to find and hire a Collaborative attorney.

1.  Make sure the attorney is actually trained in Collaborative Law.  An attorney, and the other professionals involved, actually need to have attended at least a two-day "basic training".  Some attorneys will try to claim that they can handle the case without it, but they will not do a good job for you.  In addition, the attorney should regularly attend trainings to continually update their skills.  From my observations over more than 10 years of Collaborative work, it is clear that the practice has evolved and changed over the time.  Attorneys need to keep up with new ideas.

2.  If an attorney tries to talk you out of Collaborative Law right off the bat, get a second opinion.  Unfortunately, there seem to be a lot of "bait and switch" attorneys who advertise that they handle Collaborative cases even though they usually haven't been trained. If someone comes in and wants to use Collaborative Law, the attorney immediately starts telling them all the reasons why it would be inappropriate.  If you get that treatment, get a second opinion.

3.  Ask about the attorney's experience in Collaborative Law cases.  Ask how long they have done Collaborative work.  Ask them to tell you some stories about how they got some good outcomes from it.  Ask what they like about Collaborative Law.  An experienced attorney can easily answer those questions.  A bait and switch attorney can't.

4.  Location.  Generally, you need a local attorney, from the county where you reside.  If there aren't many Collaborative attorneys in your county, check for an adjacent county.  Don't worry about where the attorney's office is.  I've had cases where all the meetings were at my office, some where all the meetings were at the other attorney's office, some were all at a neutral site and some were at a financial professional's office.  The location is always set up for the convenience of the parties.

5.  Good chemistry.  This is the intangible.  Make sure you have a good feeling about the attorney.  Trust your gut on whether this is the right attorney for you.

If you follow through with these suggestions, you should end up with a good Collaborative lawyer and hopefully a more peaceful divorce experience.

Should You Collaborate or Litigate?

If you are thinking about filing for divorce, you are probably considering who to hire and how to proceed.  Since you are reading this, you are probably thinking about using Collaborative Law.  If you investigate, some attorneys and other people may try to talk you out of using Collaborative Law and may try to tell you some reasons why it is a bad idea.

The following are common issues raised in discussing using Collaborative Law as a process to resolve Family Law issues, especially divorce.  Although Collaborative Law may not be a good fit for everyone, here's why you should still consider using it, even when one or more of these circumstances is a consideration.

1.Disqualification.  A fundamental component of Collaborative Law is the requirement that the attorneys and neutral experts must withdraw if the Collaborative process breaks down.  Then both parties must hire new attorneys in order to take the case to court.  While this is a drastic requirement, it is also one of the main reasons why the process works.  The attorneys, the experts and and the parties all have incentives to stay in the process and not just quit and turn everything over to the judge.  That encourages everyone to keep trying and to look for alternatives.  And that usually leads to a successful conclusion.

2. Can't trust your spouse.  Lack of trust is common to some extent in almost every divorce.  With Collaborative Law, you actually have more sets of eyes watching and making sure things are complete and accurate.  While there are no guarantees that both parties will be honest, that is also true in litigation.  In Collaboration, you will normally have two neutral experts helping and both attorneys are committed to making sure there are no mistakes and no one is taken advantage of.  That's more protection than you normally have in litigation.

3. Cost.  While Collaborative Law is not cheap, it is relatively cost effective.  In Collaborative, you will not have the numerous court appearances that are common in litigation.  There will be several joint meetings with the attorneys and other neutrals, and several "off-line" meetings where you will meet with a financial specialist or a child specialist to gather information and sometimes start to generate options. Those meetings are more focused and productive than most court appearances. In Collaborative, you will also not do formal written discovery, which is very expensive.  You will gather specific information that has a purpose.  In litigation, a great volume of information is often sought and produced, but much of  the information often has no real role in the litigation.  Way more information is exchanged in litigation than is really needed, and that costs money.

4. Spouse is controlling.  That is a big problem in litigation.  It is a problem in Collaborative Law cases as well, but there is help.  The mental health professional works with both parties to neutralize the actions of a spouse who may try to be controlling.  The financial professional helps off-set the controlling spouse if he/she tries to unfairly control the flow of information about the finances.  In addition, both attorneys work to together to stop any controlling behavior on any issue.  That type of broad effort is effective and is not available in litigation.

5. Domestic violence.  This can be a problem in any family law issue.  Not every case is appropriate for Collaborative Law, but there is no automatic disqualification for domestic violence.  With a neutral mental health professional involved throughout the process, there is a better chance of dealing with the situation in a constructive and safe manner.  An additional therapist or coach can be used for one or both parties.  Meetings can be run with flexibility that allows changes of length or location or other adjustments.

6. Spouse is crazy.  Again, this is frequently true in regular litigated cases.  Having a neutral therapist working with both parties is probably the best way of getting through the case and dealing with any emotional or personality problems that may exist.  In litigation, there's normally no one working in a similar capacity.  You are much better off dealing with a crazy spouse using Collaborative Law.  It's still not easy, but it's better.

All of these conditions make the case difficult and probably more expensive.  Collaborative Law does not make a case cheap or easy to resolve.   Collaborative gives you more flexibility and tools to work with, and you and your spouse get to create your own unique solution using a system you control.

How to Start a Collaborative Divorce

Since Collaborative Law is still relatively new, many people may feel unsure about how to start the process.  It's actually very simple.

1.  Be sure you really want a divorce.  Counseling or a cooling off period may be helpful.  A divorce creates huge changes, which can be great in some cases, but divorces are usually difficult.  You should really think about this before you start.

2.  Learn a little about Collaborative Law.  You're doing that now.  You should probably read several blog posts and look at web sites to be sure you have a basic understanding.  Also, read information from the jurisdiction where you will be filing, because there are variations in Collaborative Law from state to state.  (The same would be true about litigation varying state to state.)

3.  Find a Collaborative lawyer in your jurisdiction. Your jurisdiction is the county where you live, such as Tarrant County, Texas. You can search online or you can ask friends, family and trusted advisers.  Call an attorney's office and ask for a recommendation.  Whatever referral you get, be sure to research online about the lawyer's experience in Collaborative Law.  The attorney should have had a two-day basic training (at least), and it would be wise to find an experienced Collaborative attorney who has had extensive training.

4.  Consult with the attorney.  Meet with the attorney and decide whether the chemistry is right.  If not, go see someone else.  If the attorney tries to talk you out of using Collaborative Law, go get a second opinion from a trained Collaborative attorney.

5.  Talk with your spouse about how to proceed.  That can happen before you meet with the attorney, if you are on good terms with your spouse.  If you need to wait to tell your spouse until later, you and your attorney should try to figure out the best approach to meet your spouse's situation.  Keep in mind that you can't do a Collaborative divorce unless your spouse agrees to it and hires a Collaborative attorney.

6.  Your spouse hires a Collaborative attorney.  You can't control that aspect, but you can support and encourage your spouse to find the right attorney.  Your attorney can suggest several names of attorneys for your spouse to consider, if that would be helpful (sometimes it isn't!).

7.  The two attorneys have preliminary discussions.  They choose and contact a neutral mental health professional and a neutral financial professional to work on the case.  They usually have a conference with all the professionals to go over the background and issues of the case.  Then they schedule the first joint meeting.

8.  Attend the first joint meeting.  Everyone discusses the process and the Participation Agreement is reviewed and signed.  Usually, if there's time, the parties discuss their goals, needs and interests so everyone will know what needs to be accomplished in the process.  The next meeting is planned and information gathering assignments are made.

...   That's how you start a Collaborative divorce in North Texas.

Considering Collaborative Law for Your Divorce?

If not, you should!

This is a time of the year when people set goals, make resolutions and often consider life changes.  One of the biggest life changes that is frequently considered in January is getting a divorce.  A wise person will look around to determine what options might be available and to find a compatible attorney.

The "default" approach, or traditional way, to divorce is the litigation-court system.  Typically, one party files for divorce, sets a temporary hearing and has papers, including a restraining order, served on the spouse. The parties go to court, negotiate temporary orders and then prepare of a final trial by doing Discovery.  That's the formal process of requesting and obtaining documents and information from the other side.  After that, the parties normally go to mediation just before trial.  The case usually settles at mediation, but if it doesn't, they go to trial.  The trial is usually about a year or more after the case was filed.

A different way to settle the divorce issues is offered by some attorneys.  Collaborative Law is a relatively new process for coming to an agreement on the terms of a divorce.  It involves having a series of meetings between the parties, their attorneys and some other neutral professionals.  Like mediation, it usually works.  The parties agree to not go to court.  If the process breaks down and they don't reach an agreement, the attorneys have to withdraw and the parties start over with new attorneys.

Here are some of the advantages of Collaborative Law:

1.  Privacy.  There are no court hearings, very few documents are filed with the court and the discussions are confidential.  The decisions are made in private. Embarrassing details are not exposed and prominent public figures or families are protected.

2.  Control of the outcome.  The parties make their own decisions, rather than having a Judge, who is a stranger to everyone, do so.  There's no agreement or settlement unless both parties agree.  The parties decide their own fates.

3.  Flexibility.  Instead of following the rigid state guidelines for support or visitation, the parties are able to create something that matches their needs and abilities. There are always better ways than dividing everything 50-50.  People can be very creative in finding solutions.

4.  Expert guidance.  We normally use a neutral therapist and neutral financial advisor to work with both parties.  As a result, the meetings run smoothly and we have experts helping us with kid issues and financial issues.  It is a safer environment inn many ways for both sides.  Many people going through a divorce don't have much financial knowledge or don't really know effective ways to work out sharing of time with the children.  The neutral experts help with both.

5.  Efficiency. There are many ways that this process is efficient.  Information gathering is much more focused on actual need for information and on valuable information.  In litigation, very broad requests are made and they become very time-consuming for both sides.  In Collaborative, the Financial neutral specifies what information is needed and that's what is produced.  Also, instead of having duplicate experts working on property or children's issues, we use single, neutral experts who work for both parties.  Steps are taken as needed rather than just because it's the way it's always done.

6.  Control of timing.  In litigation, the Court usually will impose a schedule that is binding on both parties.  Sometimes that becomes inconvenient, but it's nearly impossible to change.  In Collaborative cases, the parties work at their own speed and the Court must leave them alone for up to two years. They finish when they are both ready to finish.

7. Everyone gets heard.  Collaborative cases utilize a series of meetings where both parties actively participate.  In addition, the parties get to sometimes talk privately with each of the experts.  In litigation, there are strict rules of evidence and procedure that limit the parties' ability to speak freely.

8.  Respectful environment.  Divorce cases can get ugly in many ways.  In Collaborative cases, we always have the neutral therapist managing meetings and helping the parties function at their highest levels.  In addition, the attorneys also work together to make sure everyone behaves well.

9.  Creative solutions.  When litigation cases are settled, they also always follow a "standard" path -- guidelines for child support and visitation and property division within a narrow range of possibilities.  If the case goes to trial, the result is usually even more standardized.  In Collaborative cases, the parties are free to experiment and try alternate custody arrangement, different support terms and property divisions that focus on the needs and interests of the parties more than a standard 50-50 to 60-40 division range.

What to do?
If you are facing a possible divorce, you should talk with an attorney about Collaborative Law as an option.  If the attorney says it's not appropriate, you should consider getting a second opinion, especially if your spouse wants to try Collaborative.  For help in finding a good Collaborative attorney, see prior articles in this blog on that topic.