COVID-19 Options

 If you are facing a possible divorce while the pandemic is raging, you should plan ahead and take time to investigate, if you can.  Here are some suggestions for getting started.

1.Check on your options. The best starting point is consulting with an experienced Collaborative attorney who has handled a number of cases. Not every case is a good candidate for Collaborative, but many more could be since going to court is not such a quick possibility in divorces. You should decide what's important to you and then discuss that with your prospective attorney.

As the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want". Some things are legally impossible or not realistic, but many other things can be accomplished if you work on it. You need an attorney who is willing and able to think and practice outside the box.

2. Review your finances.  Your asset values may have changed with the fluctuations in the economy. You may have more debt,  particularly if your income has stopped or changed.  Are there problems making payments?

You should gather all the financial records you can. Let your attorney decide what's needed. You and your attorney, and maybe a financial advisor, should start working on a financial plan for you. It may all have to be revised several times, but it will help you focus if you have actual facts to consider.

3. Regardless of your feelings, you should start cooperating with your spouse on issues dealing with the kids. Either the two of you or your attorneys or  a child specialist can start working on a plan for sharing time and responsibilities. One new responsibility may be home schooling or supervision of the children during the days as schools slowly open up. 

If you decide to try Collaborative Divorce, you will probably have a team to help you with your financial issues and children's issues. Plus, you will have two attorneys committed to helping you instead of just fighting. Good luck!

How do We Start a Divorce Now?

There are many couples facing the realization that divorce is on the horizon. After staying together in close quarters for a number of weeks, they are having a harder time getting along. In some cases, people have been looking forward to separating, but suddenly that's not so easy.

So, what can you do? Here are some thoughts.

1.  Negotiation.  If you still get along fairly well (yes, some people do in that situation), you can try sitting around the kitchen table and trying to work out agreements.  That works for fairly mature, not overly angry couples. You may be able to reach agreements, but you should still go talk to an attorney.  There are probably a number of things you aren't aware of that need to be included, but agreeing on anything is a good start!

2.  Traditional Litigation.  The most common traditional approach is to hire attorneys, file for the divorce, set a temporary hearing, serve papers on the other side and then go to court for a temporary orders hearing.  You can still do all those fun things, except for going to court the usual way. Now, for the foreseeable future, temporary hearings will be done remotely by Zoom or something similar.

One of the nice elements of the traditional approach is the opportunity to negotiate while you are waiting to see the judge. Normally 10-20 or more cases are set at the same time. That shifts the emphasis to negotiating and it's usually productive, although you will probably spend 2-3 hours or more waiting and negotiating.

In the end, you would probably come out with a mostly acceptable temporary agreement.

Now, there will be delays in getting to Zoom hearings. That means plenty of time for negotiating between attorneys. There may be a number of cases resolved simply because people are tired of waiting.

3.  Mediation.  This is a process to resolve disputes using a neutral third party. It is being done remotely now, although a few mediators will do in-person mediations. You really need to have an attorney to help you through mediation. If you have some difficult issues, this is a pretty good way to work things out.

4.  Collaborative Law.  Finally, my preference.  With this process, each side needs their own specially trained attorney. We also often bring in other neutral experts as needed. With Collaborative, the parties start working immediately on a parenting plan, assuming there are children. They also start right away working out living arrangements and financial responsibilities. This option gives you the most control over the outcome and timing, which should appeal to most people.

For quite a while, we will have to do things differently. You still have the same choices of processes, but some of our systems will operate differently and probably more slowly. 

Except for Collaborative Divorce which still works even in a difficult environment.

New Advantages of Collaborative Divorce in the Covid-19 Crisis

There are lots of reasons to like Collaborative Law: privacy, confidentiality, safe environment, expert help, equality between the parties, control over the timing, control over the outcome, less stress and more creative solutions, among other things.

While I am already a Collaborative Divorce proponent, the Covid-19 pandemic has created conditions that show some new values from using the Collaborative process.

Here are some ideas to think about:

1. The Collaborative process gets around the backup at the courthouse.  With Collaborative, people can immediately begin meetings and working on their cases, making interim decisions as needed.  It won't matter to them how crowded the courts are.

Contrast that with the litigation situation. Our courts will not open until at least June 1. When they re-open, they will have been closed for 2 1/2 months. The floodgates will open June 1 when the courthouse opens. We will have cases that started during the closure and additional ones that are filed in June. There may be more filings than usual in June and July if people have gotten as tired of each other as it appears they have. The backup could last for months.

2. Collaborative cases tend to involve more creative, less standard, solutions.  Our economy is really in bad shape and that affects a lot of the issues in divorces. We have had unusually sudden and severe problems. Business values change. Income changes. People lose their jobs. Under those circumstances, standard solutions don't always make a lot of sense. It makes more sense to base the decisions on the needs, abilities and interests of the parties, rather than just an arbitrary percentage or standard solution.

3. Collaborative Divorce allows the parties to address their real fears and concerns. We negotiate based on the actual needs of the parties instead of taking extreme positions to begin bargaining, expecting to meet in the middle. And the middle often is nowhere near what each party really wants or needs.  In Collaborative cases, we don't insist on standard guidelines or solutions. We put together a settlement around what would help each party, so both parties come out ahead.

In our unusual environment,  there is extra value when we use the Collaborative process for divorces as we fight through the Covid-19 pandemic.