tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7704525642160110452024-03-04T23:27:09.153-08:00Texas Collaborative Law BlogCollaborative Law is a dispute resolution system that permits the parties to a divorce or family law issue to settle out of court in a respectful, private and mutually agreeable manner. The parties each have their own attorneys, but they agree at the outset to not go to court. This blog is set up to provide information about the Texas approach to Collaborative Law. Dick Price is an attorney in Fort Worth and Tarrant County, Texas.Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.comBlogger251125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-46728260119731696752020-08-01T12:55:00.073-07:002020-08-09T13:18:13.685-07:00COVID-19 Options<p> If you are facing a possible divorce while the pandemic is raging, you should plan ahead and take time to investigate, if you can. Here are some suggestions for getting started.</p><p><b>1.Check on your options.</b> The best starting point is consulting with an experienced Collaborative attorney who has handled a number of cases. Not every case is a good candidate for Collaborative, but many more could be since going to court is not such a quick possibility in divorces. You should decide what's important to you and then discuss that with your prospective attorney.</p><p>As the Rolling Stones said, "You can't always get what you want". Some things are legally impossible or not realistic, but many other things can be accomplished if you work on it. You need an attorney who is willing and able to think and practice outside the box.</p><p><b>2. Review your finances.</b> Your asset values may have changed with the fluctuations in the economy. You may have more debt, particularly if your income has stopped or changed. Are there problems making payments?</p><p>You should gather all the financial records you can. Let your attorney decide what's needed. You and your attorney, and maybe a financial advisor, should start working on a financial plan for you. It may all have to be revised several times, but it will help you focus if you have actual facts to consider.</p><p><b>3. Regardless of your feelings, you should start cooperating with your spouse on issues dealing with the kids</b>. Either the two of you or your attorneys or a child specialist can start working on a plan for sharing time and responsibilities. One new responsibility may be home schooling or supervision of the children during the days as schools slowly open up. </p><p><b>If you decide to try Collaborative Divorce, you will probably have a team to help you with your financial issues and children's issues. Plus, you will have two attorneys committed to helping you instead of just fighting. Good luck!</b></p>Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-13918685664587483392020-07-01T12:25:00.002-07:002020-08-09T12:54:42.593-07:00COVID-19 Complications<p> By now, everyone has been well acquainted with various changes that have affected our lives. In the context of divorce, the pandemic has created many problems for people.</p><p>It's a good idea to revise expectations. Many people going through divorces have heard horror stories from family and friends about their divorces. While we have always cautioned people from assuming what they have heard from others would apply in their divorces, it is even more likely now that that the experience of others doesn't fit into the COVID world we are living through.</p><p><b>On the other hand, here are some issues we are now dealing with.</b></p><p><b>1. Generally, we can't have in-person court hearings.</b> If a divorce is proceeding through the typical litigation approach, the parties should expect a slow process. Contested hearings are conducted on Zoom, but it may take a month or more to have a temporary hearing. Final hearings have an even longer lead time. Zoom hearings are relatively short since the courts are trying to deal with a large backlog. It's also rare for attorneys to meet in person with clients for the time being.</p><p><b>2. Quarantines and self-isolating have meant that couples are almost locked in together. </b>That leads to more close time together which is a problem when they aren't used to spending so much time together. Where the partners are already having problems with each other, the situation can become unbearable. Close quarters over an extended time has led to some separations and divorces. </p><p><b>3. People are experiencing a great deal of uncertainty. </b></p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Health issues are a constant concern. </li><li>Job insecurity is a serious problem for many, with huge unemployment numbers. </li><li>Relationships are under pressure from many sides. </li><li>The overall economy is the worst it has been in decades. </li><li>Politics, with the Presidential election, has gotten even more toxic. </li><li>Plus, we don't know if and when schools will open and whether the kids will be safe.</li></ul><p></p><p>There are stressors all around.</p><p><b>In this environment, if you are facing a divorce, you should consider using Collaborative Divorce to have a less stressful divorce process with a focus on the needs and best interests of both parties and the children. An experienced Collaborative lawyer can explain the process and help you get started.</b></p>Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-78499513988777895342020-06-01T11:45:00.001-07:002020-08-09T12:22:27.907-07:00Is Your Long-Term Marriage Ending?<p> </p><p>If you have been married for a long time or you are over 50 years of age and you are facing a divorce, you need to get active to protect yourself. You have some big changes ahead of you.</p><p>Even if this is a surprise or your spouse is doing the wrong thing, you need to take steps to take care of yourself. You will need help and support from others, but you can't sit back and wait to be rescued.</p><p><b>As you are getting acclimated to your situation, here are some steps you can take.</b></p><p><b>1. Work on a budget.</b> As hard as it may be, you need to figure out your essential needs and how much they will cost. Obviously, you need to think about how to pay them. Don't worry about being perfect. Just start on figuring out the finances so you can see what your needs are.</p><p><b>2. Think about jobs.</b> You may already have a job. If so, will your income stretch to cover your bills? If you don't have a job, what can you do to make a living? You might have to take a part-time job if nothing is immediately available for you. Consider your income and needs, job qualifications and time schedule. If you have children at home, you will need to figure in your time commitment to them.</p><p><b>3. Be open to changing homes.</b> Should you keep or sell the house? What can you afford? Do you need to be near the kids, grandkids, work or friends? Some people don't want to move, but really can't afford to pay for the house they are currently in. Even if the other party is at fault, there's no guarantee you get to keep the house (or that you should!).</p><p><b>4. See a counselor.</b> We can refer you to some excellent counselors who can help you try to make sense of divorce. It's better in the long run for you to get quality help.</p><p><b>5.Consider Collaborative Divorce. </b> Divorces often have complicated issues that are better resolved over a period of time with some thoughtful creativity. You shouldn't be eager for an uninterested judge to make random decisions about your life. Wouldn't you rather work with qualified people and consider a wider range of options? You should at least visit with an experienced Collaborative attorney.</p><p>[If you go see a "Collaborative" attorney who just tries to talk you out of using Collaborative, do yourself a favor and get a second opinion. Unfortunately, some attorneys advertise as Collaborative, but only use that to draw you in. Then they convince people to go back to litigation -- usually because that attorney doesn't do Collaborative cases after all.]</p>Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-69644489367780653982020-05-01T14:59:00.000-07:002020-07-13T15:36:37.496-07:00How do We Start a Divorce Now?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>There are many couples facing the realization that divorce is on the horizon.</b> After staying together in close quarters for a number of weeks, they are having a harder time getting along. In some cases, people have been looking forward to separating, but suddenly that's not so easy.<br />
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<b>So, what can you do? Here are some thoughts.</b><br />
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<b>1. Negotiation.</b> If you still get along fairly well (yes, some people do in that situation), you can try sitting around the kitchen table and trying to work out agreements. That works for fairly mature, not overly angry couples. You may be able to reach agreements, but you should still go talk to an attorney. There are probably a number of things you aren't aware of that need to be included, but agreeing on anything is a good start!<br />
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<b>2. Traditional Litigation.</b> The most common traditional approach is to hire attorneys, file for the divorce, set a temporary hearing, serve papers on the other side and then go to court for a temporary orders hearing. You can still do all those fun things, except for going to court the usual way. Now, for the foreseeable future, temporary hearings will be done remotely by Zoom or something similar.<br />
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One of the nice elements of the traditional approach is the opportunity to negotiate while you are waiting to see the judge. Normally 10-20 or more cases are set at the same time. That shifts the emphasis to negotiating and it's usually productive, although you will probably spend 2-3 hours or more waiting and negotiating.<br />
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<i><b>In the end, you would probably come out with a mostly acceptable temporary agreement.</b></i><br />
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Now, there will be delays in getting to Zoom hearings. That means plenty of time for negotiating between attorneys. <b>There may be a number of cases resolved simply because people are tired of waiting.</b><br />
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<b>3. Mediation. </b> This is a process to resolve disputes using a neutral third party. It is being done remotely now, although a few mediators will do in-person mediations. You really need to have an attorney to help you through mediation. If you have some difficult issues, this is a pretty good way to work things out.<br />
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<b>4. Collaborative Law.</b> Finally, my preference. With this process, each side needs their own specially trained attorney. We also often bring in other neutral experts as needed. With Collaborative, the parties start working immediately on a parenting plan, assuming there are children. They also start right away working out living arrangements and financial responsibilities. This option gives you the most control over the outcome and timing, which should appeal to most people.<br />
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<b>For quite a while, we will have to do things differently. You still have the same choices of processes, but some of our systems will operate differently and probably more slowly. </b><br />
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<b>Except for Collaborative Divorce which still works even in a difficult environment.</b><br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-13803360142646920622020-04-01T14:36:00.012-07:002020-07-13T14:57:57.891-07:00New Advantages of Collaborative Divorce in the Covid-19 Crisis<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b>There are lots of reasons to like Collaborative Law: privacy, confidentiality, safe environment, expert help, equality between the parties, control over the timing, </b><b>control over the</b><b> outcome, less stress and more creative solutions, among other things.</b></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b><br /></b>
While I am already a Collaborative Divorce proponent, the Covid-19 pandemic has created conditions that show some new values from using the Collaborative process.<br />
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Here are some ideas to think about:<br />
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<b>1. The Collaborative process gets around the backup at the courthouse. </b> With Collaborative, people can immediately begin meetings and working on their cases, making interim decisions as needed. It won't matter to them how crowded the courts are.<br />
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Contrast that with the litigation situation. Our courts will not open until at least June 1. When they re-open, they will have been closed for 2 1/2 months. The floodgates will open June 1 when the courthouse opens. We will have cases that started during the closure and additional ones that are filed in June. There may be more filings than usual in June and July if people have gotten as tired of each other as it appears they have. The backup could last for months.<br />
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<b>2. Collaborative cases tend to involve more creative, less standard, solutions. </b> Our economy is really in bad shape and that affects a lot of the issues in divorces. We have had unusually sudden and severe problems. Business values change. Income changes. People lose their jobs. Under those circumstances, standard solutions don't always make a lot of sense. It makes more sense to base the decisions on the needs, abilities and interests of the parties, rather than just an arbitrary percentage or standard solution.<br />
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<b>3. Collaborative Divorce allows the parties to address their real fears and concerns. </b>We negotiate based on the actual needs of the parties instead of taking extreme positions to begin bargaining, expecting to meet in the middle. And the middle often is nowhere near what each party really wants or needs. In Collaborative cases, we don't insist on standard guidelines or solutions. We put together a settlement around what would help each party, so both parties come out ahead.</div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b><br /></b></div><div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><b>In our unusual environment, there is extra value when we use the Collaborative process for divorces as we fight through the Covid-19 pandemic.</b></div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-70071192757315514722020-03-01T12:20:00.000-08:002020-03-01T12:20:07.442-08:00The Need for Patience<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Many people take quite a long time deciding whether or not to get divorced. That's normal and probably a good thing. It is such an important decision that we shouldn't jump into it lightly.<br />
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However, once they make the commitment to divorce, many of these people become anxious to get it over with.<br />
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<b>As unwelcome as the news is, sometimes people just have to be patient. The Collaborative Divorce process takes time and it may take time for the other party to become comfortable with the prospect of divorce, which may have been unexpected. </b><br />
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So, we often have one person who was slow to decide initially who is now in a hurry, while the spouse is unprepared and slow to adjust to a new reality of divorce. The different speeds of people can create conflict.<br />
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<b>Here are some suggestions for dealing with that friction between the parties.</b><br />
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1. Most importantly, the "speedier" person needs to be able to honestly explain why speed is important. <i><b>There may be good reasons which everyone can understand.</b></i><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b>The person may be moving or starting a new job.</b></li>
<li><b>The person may be in a new relationship. </b>That's often not a popular explanation until the second party is emotionally in the same place. Patiently waiting to discuss that is usually a virtue.</li>
<li><b>The person may want to end the financial drain of a divorce.</b> Divorces aren't cheap. Even a Collaborative Divorce is somewhat expensive. It's probably in everyone's best interest to not drag out the divorce with continuing meetings (which is similar to the desire to stop court hearings in litigation).</li>
<li><b>The person may be ready to start over fresh.</b></li>
<li><b>Any divorce is emotionally stressful </b>(although Collaborative Divorces are usually less stressful than litigated ones). It makes sense that getting out of the stressful situation may be a priority.</li>
<li><b>At some point, almost everyone is ready to get out of a difficult or uncomfortable situation just to get out of limbo. </b> The uncertainty of a continuing divorce can be draining.</li>
</ul>
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<b>2. Both parties need to recognize that a divorce process, even Collaborative Divorce, takes time.</b> It cannot and generally should not be a speedy process because people need to be thoughtful about such important issues for their lives.</div>
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<b>3. Each party should accept that their spouse may need time to adjust or prepare.</b> Be kind and be patient and you will be rewarded.</div>
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<b>4. Be sure there is time for each party to be heard.</b> Sometimes just having an opportunity to speak up and explain things can be very beneficial. In Collaborative Divorces, we work on improving communication between and parties. A big part of that is learning to be a good listener.</div>
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<b>5. Finally, both parties need to recognize that their assumptions about how fast the process should work may be wrong.</b> Each case is different and each person is different, so timing will vary from case to case.</div>
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Having experienced Collaborative professionals involved in the case should ease some of the stress, including the speed stress. You should have a good discussion with your attorney about your needs, your assumptions and your spouse's position on the speed of the case. Together you should figure out how to balance the desires for a quicker or slower process so that neither party is over-stressed.</div>
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<b>The overall best advice on the topic: Be Patient!</b></div>
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-91322903468668579572020-02-01T12:45:00.000-08:002020-02-01T12:45:08.173-08:00How to Choose a Good Collaborative Attorney for You<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Once you have researched or gotten some suggestions for a possible Collaborative attorney for your divorce (or other legal issue), you need to meet with the candidate or candidates and decide which is the right one for you.<br />
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When you make an appointment to meet with the attorneys, you should plan ahead what you want to discuss and what you are looking for. Here are some suggestions.<br />
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<b>1. Ask about their experience. </b>How long have they been doing Collaborative cases?<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>When did they start doing Collaborative cases?</li>
<li>Why do they like Collaborative Law?</li>
<li>How many Collaborative cases have they had?</li>
<li>How much training have they attended?</li>
<li>How they spoken at seminars or Collaborative meetings?</li>
<li>Are they active in Collaborative Law organizations?</li>
<li>Have they handled cases like yours in the Collaborative process?</li>
</ul>
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If they have not handled many cases or been to much training, they may try to talk you out of using Collaborative Law. That's usually a sign that they are not sincere about using Collaborative Law. Try someone else.</div>
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<b>2. Ask about their view on Collaborative Law. </b>If they claim to use Collaborative but don't believe your case would be appropriate, get a second opinion. Unfortunately, some attorneys say they do Collaborative Law, but haven't been trained. Those attorneys try to draw in business and then switch clients to litigation. If an attorney says Collaborative Law is his or her first preference, that is probably a good choice.</div>
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<b>3. Talk about the cost for attorneys and the process.</b> Collaborative cases can actually save you some money, compared to costs for litigation with big fights. Having a child specialist do the preliminary work with the parents on a parenting plan is much cheaper and a better result than having two attorneys working on it simultaneously. Likewise, delegating the preliminary financial work to a single financial professional produces a better product at a smaller cost than a litigation approach with formal discovery.</div>
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<b></b><br /></div>
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<b>4. Keep in mind that neither process is "cheap".</b> If you have significant issues, there is no bargain rate possible in any legal process. Still, you can reduce the costs somewhat by working together as a Collaborative team.</div>
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<b></b><i></i><b></b><br /></div>
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<b><i>5. Your most important consideration: Chemistry.</i></b></div>
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Make sure you feel comfortable with your attorney.</li>
<li>You need someone who listens to you well.</li>
<li>The attorney should be able to communicate well and explain things to you.</li>
</ul>
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<b>Pay attention to your gut feeling about working with the attorney.</b></div>
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-49298360228021939662020-01-15T12:06:00.000-08:002020-01-26T12:22:38.204-08:00How to Find Information on Collaborative Attorneys<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b></b><br />
<b>Getting Started</b><br />
If you are facing divorce and either you or your spouse became interested in the Collaborative divorce process, one of your first tasks is to find a Collaborative attorney to represent and assist you.<br />
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<b>Where to Find Names</b><br />
Typically, your introduction comes from researching the Internet, receiving a referral from a friend or trusted professional or from a list of suggested names of nearby Collaborative attorneys. That can come from your spouse who may have met with a Collaborative attorney or from an attorney suggesting the names.<br />
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<b>Get Local Information</b><br />
It is getting easier to find information online about the process and about Collaborative lawyers in your area. Make sure your searches are limited to your area. California and Texas Collaborative practitioners have some differences in how they handle cases. Be sure when you do online searches that you add in your state and city or county so you can get information and referrals that fit your situation.<br />
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<b>What if You Get a List of Names</b><br />
If your spouse goes first to see a Collaborative attorney, he or she may leave with a list of trained and active Collaborative attorneys who could be good attorneys for you to choose from.<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>That's a good thing. It does not mean that the attorneys would work against you because they are friends with the first attorney. </li>
<li>The list is probably good attorneys who have a history of working well with the first attorney. That's good for you because it improves your chances of getting your case peacefully settled.</li>
<li>Many times, lawyers are members of a "practice group" of attorneys and other professionals who are well trained, experienced and dedicated to helping clients divorce peacefully while protecting their rights.</li>
</ul>
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<b>Can You Use Someone Not on a List?</b></div>
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Of course, but you want to make sure they are trained and they would be a good fit for you.</div>
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<b>The Next Step</b></div>
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When you have some attorneys' names, do some research online and learn something about each one. Then you need to meet them.</div>
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<b>For tips on choosing a good Collaborative lawyer, please see my next blog post for February 1, 2020.</b></div>
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-28182779618370120492020-01-01T16:10:00.000-08:002020-01-20T16:10:51.493-08:00Are You Ready for Divorce?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Everyone has to decide on his or her own whether they are ready for divorce -- unless their spouse takes the first step and files. In that case, there must be a response.<br />
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But, let's talk about the situation where you are trying to decide whether to file for divorce. How do you really decide?<br />
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<b>First, you should think it through and not just react on impulse. </b> There are good reasons to file, in some cases. But there are also bad reasons to file.You need to keep things in perspective. Maybe you're mad or disappointed about something. You have to decide if it is the last straw or if it's something that's not such a big deal on second thought. Unless it's a safety issue, let a little time pass before you commit to filing. Think it over.<br />
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<b>Second, talk with a counselor. </b>You may need an outside perspective. A good counselor can help you think about things in different ways and put them in context. Maybe you have been in denial and you should file. Maybe an event was not so terrible once things calmed down. A counselor may be able to help you figure out other ways, short of divorce, to deal with the situation.<br />
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<b>Third, consider talking with trusted friends or family members.</b> Another point of view from someone who knows and cares about you can be very helpful. They may help you solidify your resolution to act or not act. Sharing the emotional load will also help with your stress level.<br />
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<b>Here are some <u>Cons</u> to consider when trying to decide whether to divorce:</b><br />
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<b>1. Divorce will disrupt family relationships.</b> That may seem obvious, but keep in mind that relations with many other people will be affected and you may lose out on friendships with members of your spouse's family. If there are children involved, their lives will be changed in many ways. Transitions are often difficult after divorce.<br />
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<b>2. Financial difficulties are common. </b>It's difficult to run two households on the funds that had been used to pay the bills for just one. It has to be done, but there are normally cutbacks. You may have a hard time until the finances are figured out.<br />
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<b>3. You need to be emotionally ready. </b> Try to think and plan for the changes ahead. You will probably be lonely, mad and worried at different times. You will have a lot of adjustments to make.<br />
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<b>Here are some <u>Pros</u> for filing.</b><br />
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<b>1. You may be leaving an unpleasant or unsafe relationship.</b> It may be hard to take the step, but it will be worth it in most cases. You need to protect yourself and your children.<br />
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<b>2. You may have just drifted apart.</b> You may be leaving a relationship where you don't hate or dislike each other. With a divorce, you will both be better off and have a chance for a better relationship.<br />
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<b>3. If your spouse has started a new relationship, you need to move on, too. </b> You have to face facts. There's very little chance of reconciliation when a new significant other is in place.<br />
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<b>What's the best thing you can do to help decide whether to file for divorce? </b><br />
<b><i><u><br /></u></i></b>
<b><i><u>Go see an experienced family law attorney.</u></i> </b> Together, you should be able to come to a decision.<br />
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By the way, a good attorney will sometimes advise you to wait a while before filing. <br />
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So, think it over. Talk it over. Take some time, if you can. Consider the advantages and disadvantages to you. Then make your decision and stay with it. If you want to stay together, you should get counseling since you have been this close to divorce.<br />
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Good Luck!</div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-58620161616863462482019-12-01T15:28:00.000-08:002020-02-05T15:52:30.107-08:00Proceed With Caution<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Sometimes people going through a Collaborative divorce will start to discuss things and negotiate directly with their spouse outside of Collaborative meetings.</b><br />
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Usually, if the topic is something like what time to pick up or return the kids on a special occasion, that's appropriate and it may be necessary.<br />
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On the other hand, some people may begin pushing their spouse to negotiate directly, without the attorneys or other professionals, and that can cause problems. Realistically, the parties are in the Collaborative process because they can't just sit at a kitchen table and work things out.<br />
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In spite of past differences, people sometimes drift into direct negotiations. It could be to save money, save time or because things are just going very well at the moment. Other times, it may be a result of a conscious or unconscious desire to control or dominate the partner.<br />
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<b>There are several reasons to Proceed with Caution: </b><br />
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<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Things could go badly and damage to the negotiations can occur. The good relationship could quickly disappear.</li>
<li>Someone might be pushed into a bad decision without the advice of counsel.</li>
<li>One or both parties may be overlooking legal concerns or options that are available.</li>
<li>One or both parties may be acting on a mistaken idea of the law.</li>
<li>Money may be spent or assets disposed of which could disadvantage one or both of the parties.</li>
</ul>
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<i><b>Keep in mind that the Collaborative attorneys and other professionals have a more objective viewpoint than you and your spouse do. The attorneys and professionals also have knowledge of the law and usually the experience of having handled at least hundreds of cases.</b></i></div>
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<b>For the best outcome, please be patient and stay in communication with your attorney before you start negotiating on your own.</b></div>
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</div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-24563141845740065882019-10-02T15:32:00.000-07:002019-10-27T15:36:27.715-07:00Do You Really Need a Team of Professionals?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<b><br /></b>
<b>For some people, the leap from hiring a lawyer to hiring a team of professionals for a divorce is very difficult.</b> In Collaborative divorces, it is common in North Texas and other areas for the Collaborative attorneys to select a neutral mental health professional (MHP) and a neutral financial professional (FP) to work with the parties.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>The attorneys and other professionals divide up the work so that the best qualified people are in charge of gathering information and leading the discussions for their areas.</b> The MHP leads in working on issues relating to children, if there are parenting issues. In addition the MHP leads joint meetings. The FP is in charge of gathering and organizing financial information for everyone.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>Some people worry about the cost, others don't want a complicated process, while some feel more comfortable with a more traditional approach.</b><br />
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<b>Cost.</b> As you may know, attorney fees can be expensive. On the other hand, the MHP and FP typically charge roughly half the hourly rate of the attorneys. In regular litigation, the attorney does all the work. In Collaborative, you have a specialist taking charge of the preliminary work for parenting and financial issues, but charging around half the rate of the attorneys who would have been doing the same work. Much of the MHP and FP's work is done directly with the parties and without attorneys being present. You get great results at a reduced cost.<br />
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<b>Complicated.</b> Dividing responsibility so that the most qualified person oversees different areas and works directly with the parties is a less complicated process. The preliminary work is done by specialists and then reviewed by all. The attorneys provide the legal overview to make sure an appropriate and enforceable order is the result.<br />
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<b>Traditional approach.</b> The alternative is to file pleadings, go to court, and negotiate with the courtroom looming in the background. You can let the judge apply a standard possession schedule and standard child support orders. The parties can exchange information through the traditional written Discovery process, which usually costs thousands of dollars before it is over. It all takes a lot of attorney time, which translates into cost.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>If you happen to have a divorce where both sides are in agreement on everything, you don't need Collaborative Law. If you agree on getting a divorce, but disagree on the parenting issues or on the finances, you should consider a Collaborative divorce.</b><br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-47038258046996472632019-08-15T12:16:00.000-07:002020-03-01T12:08:48.428-08:00Will It Work?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Collaborative divorce sounds good in theory, but many people wonder whether it can work in their case.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>What Happens if it Fails?</b><br />
If the process fails, the parties have to hire new attorneys and essentially start over. That means additional cost.<br />
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<b>Incentive to Keep Working</b><br />
The cost, delays and inconvenience of switching attorneys all create a big incentive for the parties to keep working together and to try other approaches if they struggle to reach agreements. It's a big part of why the Collaborative divorce process works.<br />
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<b>Reasons for Failure</b><br />
But, in initially deciding whether to use the Collaborative process or go to litigation, people sometimes feel overwhelmed by their bad situations. They sometimes think Collaborative would fail because of one of the following reasons:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>You and your spouse may be really mad at each other and don't want to talk to each other.</li>
<li>You and your spouse don't trust each other.</li>
<li>You're afraid your spouse can out-negotiate you.</li>
<li>You don't know what to do or what to ask for in a settlement.</li>
<li>You and your spouse don't seem to be able to agree on anything.</li>
</ul>
<b>How We Deal with Those Concerns </b><br />
These are all very common obstacles that divorcing people face. Experienced Collaborative attorneys and other professionals are used to dealing with these problems.<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>We can get you and your spouse in a calmer state and able to talk respectfully.</li>
<li>We start off figuring out the goals and needs (our targets) for each party. We go deeper than the standard, "I want half of everything".</li>
<li>Then we break down the process into manageable steps: gathering information, developing options, negotiating with the aid of the professionals and reaching agreements.</li>
<li>Throughout the process, we have the deep involvement and leadership of the professionals needed for parenting plan decisions and property division issues.</li>
<li>The parties learn of new options for settlement that they often have not thought of.</li>
<li>We can take as much time as is needed to develop the information and options so that both parties are comfortable with an agreement that benefits both parties.</li>
</ul>
<b> Bottom Line</b><br />
<b> The Collaborative Divorce process works about 85-95% of the time. That's pretty successful.</b><br />
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<b>If you have concerns about how it might work in your situation, please contact an experienced Collaborative attorney who can help you visualize how the process would be for your case.</b><br />
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<b>Note-- Second Opinion:</b> If an attorney tries to talk you out of using the Collaborative process, do yourself a favor and get a second opinion from an experienced Collaborative attorney who has actually worked through a number of cases. Unfortunately, some people advertise for Collaborative cases and use that to draw in potential clients without having the experience or real interest in Collaborative Law.<br />
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</div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-70426323251806932332019-04-02T18:08:00.000-07:002019-04-16T18:49:37.225-07:00What to do If Your Spouse Wants a Divorce -- But You Don't<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Sometimes the subject of divorce comes up and people are surprised about it. Some people don't pay attention to warning signs of discontent and some willfully ignore problems that are building up.<br />
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In spite of, and sometimes because of, the inattention by one spouse, the other spouse may be sensing that it is time to split up. It is quite common for one spouse to have moved quite a distance down the path to unhitching while the other spouse is standing still.<br />
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From another perspective, some people are blissfully unaware of problems and some people intentionally put their head in the sand.<br />
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Whatever your situation is, being the "left behind" spouse is often difficult and painful. If you are in that situation, here are some ideas for you to consider.<br />
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<b>1. Get counseling for yourself. </b>Disregard whatever excuses come to mind. Please help yourself and find a counselor to work with. You can gain a lot of understanding of what is happening and what you may or may not be able to do. Eventually, you will feel better. Don't try to figure things out on your own.<br />
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<b>2. You can suggest marital counseling for you and your spouse.</b> Of course, you can't make your spouse attend, but it is worth a try. The counselor may help resolve some issues or may confirm that the marriage is irretrievably broken. There's small cost with a possible helpful outcome.<br />
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<b>3. Listen to your spouse. </b> If you can have a discussion with your spouse, stop talking and actively listen to what his or her concerns are. You may not have actively listened to your spouse in a long time. Just listen and try to understand. Combine this with the next step.<br />
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<b>4. Don't argue. </b> You may think your spouse is totally wrong about something, but now is not the time to argue with him/ her. If you want to win your spouse back, out-arguing them is not the path. You should learn from a counselor how and when to have discussions. Your passionate argument to convince your spouse to stay will more likely drive them away. Get some help before you discuss matters.<br />
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<b>5. Be kind to your spouse.</b> Don't discuss the divorce. Don't put up roadblocks. Don't be uncooperative. Be nice and be someone your spouse would like to spend time with. If you have kids, be an active, sharing parent. Trying to teach your spouse a lesson or making their life difficult will not rekindle the old romance. Before you act, think about how your spouse will probably react. Will that help you get back together?<br />
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<b><u>Bonus Suggestion</u>: Keep in mind that the marital problems are rarely one sided. You each have contributed to the problems.</b> <b> Be willing to accept responsibility for problems, but focus on the solutions, rather than finding fault.</b><br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-69950653679980450752019-03-01T13:07:00.000-08:002019-04-10T13:11:40.794-07:00Why There's No Free Consultation<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Free Consultation?</b><br />
We get many calls that include the question about whether we give a free consultation. We don't mind getting the question and we understand why many people ask. They may think they can get a regular consultation with lots of useful information at no cost.<br />
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<b>No More Free Consultations</b><br />
We stopped doing free consultations years ago. Back then, we focused on giving out a little information and encouraging the prospective client to call us. It became clear after a while that many people came in with no intention of hiring us. They just wanted the information.<br />
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<b>Our New Approach</b><br />
So we changed our approach. We started to charge for the initial consultation for those who want to spend time with us in the office.<br />
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<b>The Free Part</b><br />
But we still give away a lot of information. We developed an extensive web site that provides a great deal of information to our clients. Later, we added two blogs that have been running over 10 years and which have over 300 articles with information. There's no charge for the web information.<br />
<br />
<b>Check Us Out First</b><br />
Now, we let people check us out online and decide if they like our approach on issues. They can also educate themselves on many issues.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>What You Pay For</b><br />
Then, if they like what they see, they can make an appointment to meet with an attorney. We listen to you, give feedback on your ideas and sometimes do some brainstorming to come up with a plan and possible solutions. We explain the law and how it applies to your case, as well as discussing the facts of your case.<br />
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<b>This Works!</b><br />
We know this won't please the people who still something for nothing, and we're sorry we can't help everyone. For the serious people who want to hire an attorney, this seems to work well.</div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-39961728865006324472018-11-15T09:39:00.000-08:002019-04-16T18:03:22.286-07:00A Third Option -- It's Not Just a Choice Between 2 Options<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>In regular negotiations between spouses, most often, if they don't agree, each one has one preferred proposal. When they have equal votes, it's often hard to agree on a choice. </b>A lot of the reason for that is that the choices are usually framed so that one spouse wins and the other loses or has to give up on something they want.<br />
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In those type of negotiations, the process usually leads to stalemate or frustration because someone was pressured into agreeing to something he or she didn't really want.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>What if there were a third option, or fourth, fifth or sixth option?</b><br />
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Wouldn't that improve chances of reaching an agreement? Wouldn't it also increase chances of reaching a better agreement?<br />
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<b>Traditional negotiations usually involve limited options, with the parties dug in to their positions and often fixated on "winning".</b><br />
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<i>Can you see where this is going?</i><br />
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<b>For couples working in the Collaborative Law process to solve problems, there are more options and those can be improved with the help of the professional team.</b><br />
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One reason the Collaborative process works so well is that the attorneys are experienced in Family Law and they work with the common goal of finding the best solutions for both sides.<br />
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Another reason: When we bring in experienced neutral financial and parenting experts, that leads to new and better options based on knowledge and years of experience.<br />
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A lot of people think they can work out agreements with their spouse to save time and money. In a few cases, that is true. In most cases, it doesn't work out well. In fact, spouses often get angry and stay angry for a while from those discussions that degenerate into arguments.<br />
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<b>If the issues or future civility are important to you, maybe you should consider the Collaborative Law process as the means for achieving a peaceful solution.</b><br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-36551319329654745352018-10-01T08:57:00.000-07:002018-10-14T09:10:36.727-07:00What to do If Your Spouse Suggests a Collaborative Divorce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>If you are suddenly faced with a request for a divorce and your spouse wants to use Collaborative Law, what should you do?</b><br />
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Since you are reading this, you are obviously researching the topic and that's good. It helps to have a little knowledge about the process to help you make decisions. <br />
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Here are some suggestions to consider. <br />
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<b>1. Remain calm. </b> You may have been thinking about divorce or discussing it. Although some spouses can hide their planning, it is rarely a total surprise. There usually are problems that are obvious. As difficult as divorce can be, life afterwards can be a major improvement in many ways.<br />
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<b>2. It's going to happen. </b> Keep in mind that if one person in a marriage wants a divorce, it will ultimately happen. You can slow it down, but you can't stop it.<br />
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<b>3. Get counseling. </b>Divorce is never easy. Seeing a counselor for a while can be a big help. Check with friends, associates and especially lawyers to find a counselor who can help. Try out one or more counselors to find someone you are comfortable with.<br />
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<b>4. Look into Collaborative Law. </b> If your spouse already wants to try it, you are lucky! In most cases, it is a much better process for many reasons. You can get information from several sources: blogs like this, web sites, YouTube videos, Facebook pages and different organizations, such as Collaborative Divorce Texas, and the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. In addition, there are local practice groups, which are small groups of Collaborative professionals who work together in certain geographic areas.<br />
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<b>5. Hire an experienced Collaborative attorney.</b> Find out how many Collaborative cases the attorney has handled. In Texas, you can ask if the attorney has been credentialed by Collaborative Divorce Texas. They award "Credentialed" and "Master Credentialed" designations which are earned by having handled a significant number of Collaborative cases and being recommended by other Collaborative professionals, among other things. In addition, make sure there is a good chemistry between you and the attorney so you can work well together.<br />
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If you are facing divorce, whether you like it or not, Collaborative Law is the way to go in many cases. It is less stressful, more efficient and leads to more creative solutions that can work for either party, For your best experience, follow these steps.<br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-18887619745143005652018-05-01T09:01:00.000-07:002018-06-04T11:30:20.475-07:00DIY Divorce Negotiating -- Why it's a Bad Idea!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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In an age when more and more people want to "do it themselves" with so many things, people negotiating their own divorces seems like a natural. After all, who's more interested in the outcome than the parties themselves? Think of the money they can save by not hiring lawyers, and think of the fights that can be avoided by keeping the lawyers out of it. Plus, the parties either believe they know the details of their case or trust their spouse will share the information. <br />
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Everyone knows Texas is a 50-50 state, right, so dividing things up should be easy. And you can find all the forms for child support and visitation online.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>So, what could go wrong?</b><br />
<br />
Although I am naturally an optimist, I have to point out a number of potentially costly problems with the DIY approach. <br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>1. You may be misinformed.</b> For example, property doesn't have to be divided 50-50, and usually there's some variance from that. There are a number of factors that can affect the division. You may also not know whether something is separate property (not to be divided) or included in the community property. Some situations are complicated and relying on the internet may not be smart.<br />
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<b>2. You can be bullied.</b> Hopefully, that's not the case, but I have seen numerous cases where one party dominates the other and obtains a very favorable property division, child support order or custody arrangement. That is much less likely when there are attorneys involved.<br />
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<b>3. You may not be aware of the true strengths of your bargaining position.</b> Knowledge of the law, along with experience, can unlock a lot of options for getting the result you want to achieve. Some issues are settled and don't need to be re-litigated. Or, you may be in a weak position and it would be helpful to learn that before you are in too deep.<br />
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<b>4. You probably have no experience with how different approaches work.</b> For example, you or your spouse may want a 50-50 time sharing arrangement with the kids. There are several different models used for that purpose and an experienced lawyer can help you understand how they work and which might be best option for you.<br />
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<b>5. Overall, it is better to have someone experienced to bounce ideas off. </b> You are dealing with serious and very important issues. Having a second opinion or alternate point of view can help you test your ideas or your spouse's ideas before you agree to them. Take a little time and have a discussion. What you are discussing will affect you and your children the rest of your lives.<br />
<br />
While the tendency may be to favor saving money by doing the negotiating yourself, that can easily leave you with bad agreements and bad court orders. What you are going through has such enormous effects on your future that you really need to be smart and get help. <b>Be smart, not cheap!</b><br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-54875776948750048662018-04-01T18:56:00.000-07:002018-04-23T19:43:05.886-07:00Why is Collaborative Law Better than Mediation?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Although I am a Mediator as well as a Collaborative attorney, I almost always recommend using the Collaborative process, rather than Mediation or Litigation, for divorces and other family law issues. That's in spite of a very impressive success rate for Mediated cases. <br />
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Mediation has its place in the world of dispute resolution. Once Litigation has started, Mediation is ordered by courts in North Texas in most cases before the parties can have a final trial. The reason is that almost every case will settle in mediation.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>So, why the preference for Collaborative Law over Mediation or Litigation?</b> Here are some of the reasons that are important.<br />
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<b>1. Collaborative work starts at the beginning of the case.</b> Mediation usually occurs months down the road. There have been a lot of hearings, documents exchanged, arguments had and money spent by the time the case gets to Mediation. In contrast, we start direct communications (talking!) from the beginning. We don't spend time and money going to court, doing Discovery (formal exchange of documents) and arguing over lots of side issues. We identify and focus on the issues that are important to both sides.<br />
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<b>2. Often, Mediation is done with a court date looming in the background. </b> The implicit threat of court often eliminates some options. In Collaborative, we control our timetable and work as fast or slow as the parties want. We don't have a threat of compulsion or an adverse Judge's ruling to force an unpleasant agreement. In Collaborative cases, we have up to two years during which the Court cannot control our schedule.<br />
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<b>3. Mediation usually occurs after a lot of problems continued and often got worse.</b> Collaborative Law uses a neutral mental health professional, with the close cooperation of both attorneys, to manage emotions and communications. Plus, the structure of the Collaborative Law process is much more rational. We identify the goals and needs for both parties. Then we gather information about the parties, their children and their finances. Next, we generate options for settlement, followed by negotiations to reach agreement so that the needs of both parties are met. Finally, we draw up the paperwork and get it signed by the Judge. When problems come up, we work together to find solutions because we have all committed to do so.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>4. Collaborative Law is not part of a strategy to financially weaken the other party</b>, a common strategy in Litigation. Unfortunately, there are sometimes motions and hearings in Litigation that seem to serve little purpose other than to harass the other party and drain their resources. In Collaborative cases, we know that the parties are better served by staying focused on the issues relating to settlement of the problems they have identified. We work on being efficient and regularly review the financial accounts of the parties so everyone knows what's going on.<br />
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<b>5. Collaborative Law eliminates ambush and strategies to "win". </b>Both sides work together to achieve the goals for both parties. There's no solution until both sides are satisfied. It is not a situation where there's only one "winner"! Both sides have to win, or we keep working.<br />
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<br />
These are just some of the reasons why Collaborative Law is often a much better process than Mediation or Litigation for handling family issues, including divorce. For more information relating to your specific circumstances, go talk to a trained, experienced Collaborative attorney. It will be time well invested.</div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-87784324065239421672018-03-01T13:48:00.000-08:002018-04-23T18:52:04.541-07:00Why Does Collaborative Law Work?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<b>Sometimes just explaining the Collaborative process isn't enough to convey how great a process it is. </b>I have seen statistics showing successful outcomes in 85-90% of the cases where Collaborative Law was used.<br />
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<b>So, why does it work? Here are some of the reasons. </b><br />
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<b>1. We have a team of professionals working together. </b> In a typical Collaborative case (at least in North Texas), we utilize at least four professionals: 2 attorneys, a neutral financial advisor and a neutral therapist who manages the Joint Meetings and also usually helps the parties put together a parenting plan. Sometimes, we have a separate "child specialist" who helps the parties with the parenting plan. All team members have training in Collaborative Law and experience in their fields outside of the Collaborative Divorce context. An experienced team of Collaborative professionals adds a tremendous value to the process.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>2. There is a focus on solutions, not fighting. </b>This is part of the contrast with litigation. We don't waste time assigning blame or accusing each other of various misdeeds. Obviously, if we're dealing with a couple divorcing, there have been misdeeds by both sides. Instead of looking backward, we focus on creating a better future for both parties.<br />
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<b>3. There is a lot of direct communication.</b> This happens at meetings, most often under the supervision of the neutral mental health professional. Part of what happens in the process is that both parties learn and practice better communication skills. Most couples finish the process better able to talk about important matters without fighting. That's especially important when there are children.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>4. The process lends itself to flexibility and creativity.</b> We are not bound to use standard solutions and statutory guidelines. We start by focusing on what the parties want and need. Then, we gather information and finally start choosing solutions to fit the circumstances of the parties. We have been very successful in getting Judges to approve highly customized solutions that our clients came up with.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>5. You and your spouse get to decide.</b> You know what your needs are and your spouse does, too. Instead of letting a disinterested Judge impose arbitrary and standard answers to everything, you get to come up with solutions you like and we make them the terms of the Decree of Divorce. You have the power to determine the details of your life after divorce and that is much better than turning it over a Judge to decide.<br />
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<br />
These are just some of the reasons why Collaborative Law works. Yes, I am a fan of the process. If you are facing divorce or have some other legal issue to be resolved, do yourself a favor and talk to a trained Collaborative lawyer about whether Collaborative Law could be used in your case. I'll bet it can be!<br />
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<b></b></div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-60830954798620699502018-02-01T12:11:00.000-08:002018-02-10T12:23:28.175-08:00How Can I Have a Peaceful Divorce?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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If you really want to avoid fighting, as much as possible, in a divorce, here's what you need to do.<br />
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<b>1. Choose Collaborative Law. </b> If you get into traditional litigation, you may be drawn into more conflict. Most of the time in litigation, you are placed in opposition to your spouse, rather than working with him/her to find win-win solutions. Most divorces will eventually get into mediation, but that's late in the process after a lot of damage has been done.<br />
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<b>2. Work with a team.</b> In North Texas, almost all Collaborative divorces involve bringing in a neutral mental health professional and a neutral financial professional to work with the parties and attorneys. The neutrals help the quality of the agreements on parenting and property division, as well as helping the process move along smoothly.<br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>3. Focus on goals, needs and interests of both parties.</b> Doing that helps make sure we deal with the most important matters and not get bogged down in minor issues. We can be a lot more efficient as well.<br />
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<b>4. Hire experienced Collaborative Law attorneys.</b> As a starter, you want to make sure the attorneys are trained in Collaborative Law. Just as in most other matters, experience helps. It's nice to have someone who has dealt with your issues before so look for a Collaborative attorney who has done it for a while.<br />
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<b>5. Be willing to try new approaches. </b> Don't get locked into what your family and friends tell you. Be open to new ideas, especially if you have an experienced team of professionals helping you.<br />
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<b>6. Understand that neither party can control the process alone. </b> You have to work together and you can get better results if you are willing to bend a little. Usually, you have to give a little to get a little. It's easier to do if you're expecting it.<br />
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<b>7. Focus on improving your relationships.</b> In the Collaborative process, there is an emphasis on learning better communication skills, including listening. If you and your spouse are able to work together, instead of against each other, that cooperation normally spills over into other parts of the post-divorce relationship.<br />
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To get a peaceful divorce, be willing to try new approaches and be
willing to help from several directions. You'll be glad you did.<br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-63009370065942247302018-01-01T12:00:00.000-08:002018-02-08T11:26:27.928-08:00Should You Consider Collaborative Law for a Divorce?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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At this time of year, many people decide to file for divorce. Often they delay to get through the holidays and then plan to file in January or February. If you are one of those people, you may be considering filing for divorce and using the Collaborative Divorce process, or you may be undecided on how to proceed. Either way, here are some points to ponder as you decide how to go forward.<br />
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<b>Why should you consider Collaborative Law? </b> It’s worth looking into if any of the following might be important to you:<br />
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• Privacy.<br />
• Control over the timing.<br />
• Control over the decision-making.<br />
• Expert neutral help in working out a parenting plan for your children.<br />
• Expert neutral financial help so you can understand your finances.<br />
• Expert neutral financial help to gather, organize and review your financial information to make sure it is all reported and is accurate.<br />
• Expert help moderating negotiations to keep them safe, efficient and productive.<br />
• Both parties using well-trained attorneys to advise and help work out solutions.<br />
• Avoiding court hearings.<br />
• Replacing expensive, formal Discovery procedures with informal cooperative efforts overseen by neutral experts.<br />
• Keeping on good terms with your ex-spouse for the benefit of your children<br />
• Creating customized property division plans focused on what’s important for you and your spouse. <br />
• Creating customized plans for sharing time with the children<br />
• Coordinating and controlling, by agreements, your financial planning for the family into the future.<br />
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<b>You probably have many questions about the alternatives.</b> The best way to get answers is to go see an attorney who is trained and experienced in Collaborative Law. You can find out about timing, cost and how to get started. It helps to get direct answers that apply to your case.<br />
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Note: if you meet with a Collaborative attorney who tries to talk you out of using Collaborative Law, please do yourself a favor and get a second opinion from a trained and experienced Collaborative attorney. Unfortunately, some attorneys advertise themselves as Collaborative attorneys, but they use that to draw in potential clients and then talk them out of using the process. Do yourself a favor and get a second opinion.</div>
Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-69953540497661694052017-12-15T15:44:00.000-08:002018-01-02T15:29:50.440-08:00Finding Peace on Earth During Divorce<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgktx4_Ivhc37CTB7Vh6BhGCmJgSyOG5s92o1U503QKpKivFvNL5nKIx6R-1w8MjfCG3lJpJBpT7cSDCoekGAhUMGsxqvIBljzSbIS2J1AhDxD1zRz7Qxm9txD8vAVJ7qgnaV5H6C_M4vY/s1600/Screen+Shot+2018-01-02+at+5.29.21+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="526" data-original-width="528" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgktx4_Ivhc37CTB7Vh6BhGCmJgSyOG5s92o1U503QKpKivFvNL5nKIx6R-1w8MjfCG3lJpJBpT7cSDCoekGAhUMGsxqvIBljzSbIS2J1AhDxD1zRz7Qxm9txD8vAVJ7qgnaV5H6C_M4vY/s320/Screen+Shot+2018-01-02+at+5.29.21+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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During December each year, there is always a lot of talk about "Peace on Earth". Anyone in a bad marriage knows that marriages can be very un-peaceful. For those in bad marriages, it may be the seasonal talk about peace that motivates them to file for divorce in January or February.<br />
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During any time of the year, peace is actually a consideration for getting divorced. Here are some suggestions if you are looking for a peaceful solution to a difficult marriage.<br />
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<b>1. Remember that most divorces have conflict. </b> But, you can try to minimize the conflict. Be respectful of each other. Consider each other's point in view. Understand that neither party is likely to get everything they want. Knowing there will be some conflict, you should act like an adult and disagree politely and respectfully. Avoiding anger will pay off in the long run.<br />
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<b>2. You have a choice: be constructive or make it worse. </b> If you react in anger, you're choosing the second option. If you can pause and make a thoughtful response to provocation, you will make the situation better. Don't get dragged down into fighting. Maybe you can elevate your spouse's behavior. You know the buttons to push to upset your spouse, but you probably also know how to get your spouse in a good mood. Chose the high road.<br />
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<b>3. Think about the life you want post-divorce. </b> Plan ahead. Come up with a reasonable approach that can help meet your needs, but also make it possible for your spouse to feel like a winner on issues important to him/her.<br />
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<b>4. Choose the Collaborative Law process.</b> If you have significant issues about property division or children, the Collaborative process can be very helpful for you and your family. It's better to resolve those issues in a controlled, safe and respectful environment. Those are important matters and you need help.<br />
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<b>5. Hire a trained and experienced Collaborative attorney.</b> If you go see an attorney who tries to tell you that he/she does Collaborative work, but your case is not appropriate, do yourself a favor and get a second opinion from an attorney who has a lot of experience with Collaborative cases. Unfortunately, some attorneys do a bait and switch. Other attorneys try to talk you out of using Collaborative either because they aren't trained in it or because they don't make as much money doing Collaborative work as they do with litigation. I see very few cases that couldn't go Collaborative. Get a second opinion if someone tries to say you shouldn't use Collaborative Law!<br />
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If you follow the above suggestions, you have a good chance of having a peaceful divorce. Good luck! <br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-44041727374260646672017-10-01T15:35:00.000-07:002017-10-04T15:45:21.393-07:00What Should You Do if Your Spouse Gives You a List of Suggested Attorneys for a Collaborative Divorce?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Although you might be tempted to run hard in the opposite direction, this is not a bad or scary thing. You may not want a divorce, but if your spouse wants it, a divorce will be granted eventually. The list you receive may be the key to having a good experience, or at least making the best out of a situation you don't want.<br />
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<b>1. What does the list mean?</b> Don't worry, you're not in danger. It clearly indicates that your spouse is planning to or has filed for divorce. It also means that your spouse wants to try to be civilized about the uncoupling.<br />
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<b>2. Should you feel surprised? </b> Probably not. There may have been discussions recently or over a period
of time. At the very least, there have likely been problems between
the two of you. If you think about it, you may remember signs that things weren't going well.<br />
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Regardless of whether your are surprised, you need to protect yourself.<br />
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<b>3. So, what should you do?</b> (Multiple Choice time!)<br />
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<b>a. Accept the list and check them out.</b><br />
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<b>b. Do your own research on line.</b><br />
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<b>c. Ask friends or counselors or attorneys to recommend a Collaborative attorney.</b><br />
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<b>d. Take a little time to assess the situation.</b><br />
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<b>e. All of the above.</b><br />
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And the correct answer is "e". <br />
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<b>4. Check out the names on the list.</b> They do not work with your spouse's attorney. They are all independent and each would only represent your interests. They would have no connection to your spouse.<br />
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Once you learn a little about Collaborative Law, you will understand that it helps you to have an attorney who knows, gets along with and has successfully worked with, the other side's attorney. <br />
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If you are in the Collaborative process, you want two lawyers who can work together to reach an agreement without creating stress, animosity or excessive costs. You want a peaceful resolution. It takes two special lawyers.<br />
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<b>Final Word:</b> If you are too uncomfortable to use the names on your list, feel free to search for another trained Collaborative attorney. Check their experience and make sure they actually have handled a number of Collaborative cases. Unfortunately, there are some attorneys who claim to be Collaborative who always find a reason to talk people out of using Collaborative. If someone tries that with you, go see another Collaborative attorney. You will be much better off.<br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-36072910745726734812017-09-01T08:43:00.000-07:002017-09-14T08:57:29.976-07:00Why Negotiating Outside the Meetings is a Bad Idea<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Some people will always be tempted to try to negotiate parts of their settlement outside the Collaborative meetings. Sometimes, both parties want to do it, but most often it's just one of the parties who tries to engage their spouse in talks.<br />
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These are people who have been unable to agree on things, often having heated arguments over all kinds of issues. Typically, they have tried negotiating before they hired lawyers. <br />
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<b>Why do they do it?</b><br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>Save time.</li>
<li>Save money by cutting out attorney's fees or professionals' fees.</li>
<li>They think they understand or know more now and the issues are simple.</li>
<li>Someone is frustrated with the Collaborative process because it doesn't move at super speed.</li>
<li>Someone wants to control the process, the other party or the outcome, or all of them.</li>
</ul>
<b> Why is it a bad idea?</b><br />
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Although it's not always a bad idea, more often than not, problems arise, such as:<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li>People going through divorces often don't behave as well together when the attorneys and other professionals are not around. Even when there have been productive meetings and discussions in the process, when the professionals are not around the parties often revert to their old ways of communicating and interpreting what the other is saying and doing. </li>
<li>It may lead to more arguments and hurt feelings, especially if only one of the parties wants to negotiate.</li>
<li> Short-cuts often lead to harmful or bad decisions. The parties may lack information. One or both parties could lack experience in negotiating important matters. One side often feels pressured which makes them uncomfortable.</li>
<li>It could even derail the process if the parties get really mad or get into serious disagreements. </li>
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<b>What should you do if you are tempted to try to work out some agreements privately? </b><br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li> Just say NO! Blame it on your attorney or the other professionals, if you want to, but it's better to avoid it. </li>
<li>If this is just a simple matter, it won't take long to handle it at a meeting, so there's no harm and little cost involved.</li>
<li>Re-direct attention. Change the subject. Get your spouse to discuss something different that he or she is interested in and then leave or end the conversation. </li>
<li>Put off your spouse by suggesting you need to do some homework on it, which you should do anyway and then go talk with your attorney about it before you negotiate.</li>
<li>Don't get into a long talk with your spouse about whether it's a good
idea. You may end up getting mad or getting talked into something you don't
want to do. </li>
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<b>Best Advice: Talk to your attorney first</b>, whether you are thinking of initiating it or if your spouse suggests it. Maybe it can work, but please listen to your attorney. </div>
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-770452564216011045.post-7398132009212990592017-06-01T09:22:00.000-07:002017-06-12T11:45:22.801-07:00Don't Be a Lone Ranger!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="text-align: left;">When you're going through a divorce, even using Collaborative Law, it's sometimes frustrating. It may seem like things are moving too slow or too fast, or that things aren't going your way and your spouse if getting whatever he or she wants.</span></div>
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<b>Sometimes, it feels like you don't have any control over your own life.</b> You may feel like the attorneys and other professionals are micro-managing your life, but this isn't your old life anymore. You are transitioning out of marriage into a single life again. You will be in limbo while the divorce is pending. Your spouse is also in limbo.<br />
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<b>A good way to handle frustration during a divorce is to talk with your attorney. You can also engage a private counselor for yourself and over time, that can be very helpful.</b><br />
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Some people, however, choose a less helpful path. They let their frustration build to a point where they decide to take unilateral action. That can upset their spouse and possibly derail the Collaborative process.<br />
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<b>Here are some bad moves that you should not make:</b><br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><b><b>Start dating while the divorce is pending.</b> </b>That's always a bad
idea. Please wait. It will likely be very upsetting to your spouse,
and you will probably add issues about reimbursement for wasting
community funds on dating.</li>
<li><b>Suddenly move.</b> Without notice. It's worse if there are kids involved. Even without kids, there are obvious financial ramifications. It probably violates agreements already in place.</li>
<li><b>Take an expensive vacation.</b> You are probably spending community funds and your spouse will probably be unhappy. That makes the process much more difficult to complete.</li>
<li><b>Buy a house. </b> Without an agreement to spend community funds, there's a major problem. If there are children, a new house can upset school and other plans. It can also cause ripples through all the financial issues.</li>
<li><b>Change schools without an agreement. </b> When parents are not in agreement, this can cause very serious problems and possibly end the Collaborative process.</li>
<li><b>Take a new job. </b> That can be good or bad. It will certainly change the financial equation. Even though it's your life, it will create more good will if you discuss the change with everyone in advance.</li>
<li><b>Clean out a bank account. </b> That can be considered an act of war. Don't do it. If you need funds, have a discussion. If you think your spouse might try to take the money, you need to have a basic discussion about whether the two of you want to us the Collaborative process.</li>
<li><b>Make children's plans that infringe on the other parent's time. </b> Be respectful with your spouse/co-parent. The children don't need to be put in the middle of fights between the two parents. Find a way to work together for the kids' sake. Work with the mental health professional to compromise on sharing the time with the children.</li>
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If you get seriously frustrated, please talk with your attorney. He or she can
help you put things in perspective. Part of the problem may be
expectations and your attorney can help you have realistic expectations
about how the Collaborative divorce process will work in your case.You can also work with the mental health professional or financial professional to resolve some of the issues.<br />
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Whatever you do, don't give up on the process. Please talk with one of the professionals!<br />
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Dick Pricehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11176349636346315380noreply@blogger.com0