There are many couples facing the realization that divorce is on the horizon. After staying together in close quarters for a number of weeks, they are having a harder time getting along. In some cases, people have been looking forward to separating, but suddenly that's not so easy.
So, what can you do? Here are some thoughts.
1. Negotiation. If you still get along fairly well (yes, some people do in that situation), you can try sitting around the kitchen table and trying to work out agreements. That works for fairly mature, not overly angry couples. You may be able to reach agreements, but you should still go talk to an attorney. There are probably a number of things you aren't aware of that need to be included, but agreeing on anything is a good start!
2. Traditional Litigation. The most common traditional approach is to hire attorneys, file for the divorce, set a temporary hearing, serve papers on the other side and then go to court for a temporary orders hearing. You can still do all those fun things, except for going to court the usual way. Now, for the foreseeable future, temporary hearings will be done remotely by Zoom or something similar.
One of the nice elements of the traditional approach is the opportunity to negotiate while you are waiting to see the judge. Normally 10-20 or more cases are set at the same time. That shifts the emphasis to negotiating and it's usually productive, although you will probably spend 2-3 hours or more waiting and negotiating.
In the end, you would probably come out with a mostly acceptable temporary agreement.
Now, there will be delays in getting to Zoom hearings. That means plenty of time for negotiating between attorneys. There may be a number of cases resolved simply because people are tired of waiting.
3. Mediation. This is a process to resolve disputes using a neutral third party. It is being done remotely now, although a few mediators will do in-person mediations. You really need to have an attorney to help you through mediation. If you have some difficult issues, this is a pretty good way to work things out.
4. Collaborative Law. Finally, my preference. With this process, each side needs their own specially trained attorney. We also often bring in other neutral experts as needed. With Collaborative, the parties start working immediately on a parenting plan, assuming there are children. They also start right away working out living arrangements and financial responsibilities. This option gives you the most control over the outcome and timing, which should appeal to most people.
For quite a while, we will have to do things differently. You still have the same choices of processes, but some of our systems will operate differently and probably more slowly.
Except for Collaborative Divorce which still works even in a difficult environment.
So, what can you do? Here are some thoughts.
1. Negotiation. If you still get along fairly well (yes, some people do in that situation), you can try sitting around the kitchen table and trying to work out agreements. That works for fairly mature, not overly angry couples. You may be able to reach agreements, but you should still go talk to an attorney. There are probably a number of things you aren't aware of that need to be included, but agreeing on anything is a good start!
2. Traditional Litigation. The most common traditional approach is to hire attorneys, file for the divorce, set a temporary hearing, serve papers on the other side and then go to court for a temporary orders hearing. You can still do all those fun things, except for going to court the usual way. Now, for the foreseeable future, temporary hearings will be done remotely by Zoom or something similar.
One of the nice elements of the traditional approach is the opportunity to negotiate while you are waiting to see the judge. Normally 10-20 or more cases are set at the same time. That shifts the emphasis to negotiating and it's usually productive, although you will probably spend 2-3 hours or more waiting and negotiating.
In the end, you would probably come out with a mostly acceptable temporary agreement.
Now, there will be delays in getting to Zoom hearings. That means plenty of time for negotiating between attorneys. There may be a number of cases resolved simply because people are tired of waiting.
3. Mediation. This is a process to resolve disputes using a neutral third party. It is being done remotely now, although a few mediators will do in-person mediations. You really need to have an attorney to help you through mediation. If you have some difficult issues, this is a pretty good way to work things out.
4. Collaborative Law. Finally, my preference. With this process, each side needs their own specially trained attorney. We also often bring in other neutral experts as needed. With Collaborative, the parties start working immediately on a parenting plan, assuming there are children. They also start right away working out living arrangements and financial responsibilities. This option gives you the most control over the outcome and timing, which should appeal to most people.
For quite a while, we will have to do things differently. You still have the same choices of processes, but some of our systems will operate differently and probably more slowly.
Except for Collaborative Divorce which still works even in a difficult environment.
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