In regular negotiations between spouses, most often, if they don't agree, each one has one preferred proposal. When they have equal votes, it's often hard to agree on a choice. A lot of the reason for that is that the choices are usually framed so that one spouse wins and the other loses or has to give up on something they want.
In those type of negotiations, the process usually leads to stalemate or frustration because someone was pressured into agreeing to something he or she didn't really want.
What if there were a third option, or fourth, fifth or sixth option?
Wouldn't that improve chances of reaching an agreement? Wouldn't it also increase chances of reaching a better agreement?
Traditional negotiations usually involve limited options, with the parties dug in to their positions and often fixated on "winning".
Can you see where this is going?
For couples working in the Collaborative Law process to solve problems, there are more options and those can be improved with the help of the professional team.
One reason the Collaborative process works so well is that the attorneys are experienced in Family Law and they work with the common goal of finding the best solutions for both sides.
Another reason: When we bring in experienced neutral financial and parenting experts, that leads to new and better options based on knowledge and years of experience.
A lot of people think they can work out agreements with their spouse to save time and money. In a few cases, that is true. In most cases, it doesn't work out well. In fact, spouses often get angry and stay angry for a while from those discussions that degenerate into arguments.
If the issues or future civility are important to you, maybe you should consider the Collaborative Law process as the means for achieving a peaceful solution.
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