Updating the Three R's

I have just run across a very interesting and thought-provoking blog called the JustDivorceBlog, which is written by Marie Fahnert of Chicago. I highly recommend that you spend some time reading her posts. You will come away with a fresh perspective and some new ideas about life, which is actually very helpful for someone involved in a divorce. I actually think the blog would be interesting reading for anyone, so give it a chance. Anyway, here's a post she had recently that I really liked. It can provide great guidance for anyone in a stressful situation.

"Dalai Lama's (divorce) lesson:

"Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
Follow the three R’s:
- Respect for self.
- Respect for others.
- Responsibility for all your actions.

—14th Dalai Lama of Tibet
via On Her Way...........................................

"My Note: I can't stress enough how important the 'three R's' are reaching a successful outcome in your divorce. However, it is sometimes difficult to follow the rules during times of stress. When you find it difficult to follow the 'three R's' you might consider yoga, meditation or, if need be, a counselor. The rewards of following these rules will certainly be worth the effort. "

Although we often think that Collaborative divorce is nicer and more civilized, it is still very easy to fall back into old habits of blaming or attacking your spouse. Your feelings can get just as hurt in a Collaborative case as in a litigated divorce, if you let them. You do have the power to choose your response to aggravations and difficult times, but few people have the presence to stop themselves from engaging in an automatic reaction to a situation.

If you keep in mind what the Dalai Lama said, and show respect for yourself and for others, and take responsibility for your actions (don't blame others or circumstances), you will have a much easier time in your divorce. That will be appreciated even in a Collaborative divorce. And you will probably get a better result.