Planning Ahead

Waiting to file until after the holidays. At this time of the year, I have noticed that quite a few people who are about ready to file for divorce have decided to wait until after the holidays. Every year, we get really busy in January and February filing new divorces because people want the divorce, but don't want to mess up the holiday season. It's actually a good idea (usually) to wait. Here's why:

• If there are kids, they still have a chance to have a nice holiday; if there's fighting, however, that may not work out. Still, why mess up a major holiday and create a bad association with it for the rest of the child's life? Waiting to file for divorce keeps the possibility of kids enjoying the holidays.

• Taking a little more time gives you time to research your alternatives. Should you try Collaborative Law? Or mediation? Or stay with litigation? How do they work? What are their advantages and disadvantages?

• You can use a little extra time to gather resources for the radical change that's coming. Maybe you can save some money.

• You can also use the time to gather financial information and copy records.

• There's also an opportunity to take pictures of things around the house and elsewhere. Use the time to create some useful records and references.

• Do a little thinking and planning about what you want to end up with, what you need, what your may want, etc. Plan ahead!

• Make sure you are emotionally ready to pull the plug on your marriage. Is it really over? Have you done everything you can do, or want to do, to try to save it? For some people, this is a major consideration. If you are not sure, take your time.

So, there are obviously some good reasons to move carefully and slowly right now. If you choose to wait to file, you can still do some research on Collaborative Law -- one of the options for how to get a divorce -- by meeting with a Collaborative attorney.

A good way to start is to find some Collaborative attorneys where you live and research them on line. Check with friends or other attorneys to find out who is recommended in your area. In you live in Tarrant County, Texas, there are a number of good, experienced Collaborative attorneys. By meeting with an attorney now, you can plan ahead and protect yourself. You can also evaluate whether you are comfortable with the attorneys you visit.

Meeting with an attorney early allows you to make a more thoughtful decision on who you hire and how and when you proceed.