Having a "Good" Divorce

Occasionally, I hear someone comment that a friend was lucky to have a "good" divorce. If it was a traditional divorce and it didn't get too nasty, bitter or expensive, that friend was indeed lucky. Nowadays, it is possible to have a good divorce without being lucky. Now, it can happen if one is smart and willing to work with one's spouse. If both parties want a good divorce, they can choose to use Collaborative Law.

To me, a good divorce is one that is civilized, rather than a battle to gain a big advantage over their spouse. A good divorce utilizes neutral experts who provide guidance so that both parties can win.

Sometimes, both parties want the divorce. Sometimes it's only one of the parties who wants it, but even the party opposed to the divorce recognizes that it's better not to fight. It's better to be creative and focused on problem solving. That's a good divorce.

A good divorce has a lot of communication. It goes on between the parties, between the attorneys, and between the other professionals brought in and the attorneys and parties. That communication from all angles helps avoid conflict and minimize problems. It leads to more understanding of each other and the willingness to compromise and support each other's goals.

A good divorce may be one which is negotiated in private, respectful meetings.

There will be conflict and disagreement in a good divorce, but the parties and professionals will be better able to deal with the problems and respect each other's interests and needs. A good divorce provides the tools and structure to address the issues in conflict and find solutions that are acceptable to both parties.

Collaborative Law provides the best opportunity to have a good divorce. People considering or facing divorce should contact a Collaborative Lawyer to find out if it would be a good option.